ChatGPT jokes

Two ChatGPT models were talking. One says: "Did you hear the one about the computer that could finish sentences? The other replies: "Yeah, but I already knew what it was going to say." ChatGPT goes to a restaurant and orders alphabet soup. The waiter asks: "Why alphabet soup?" ChatGPT replies: "I'm just trying to improve my vocabulary!" How many ChatGPTs does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it will come up with 100 different ways to tell you how it's done. #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Dog playing piano

It is World Piano Day! A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him. The bartender says, "Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed." The man says, "But this is a special dog – he plays the piano!" The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on the house!" So the man puts the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart... and then he plays some rock 'n' roll. The bartender and patrons are amazed. Suddenly, a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out. The bartender asks the man, "What was that all about?" The man replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor." #joke #doctor #walksintoabar #worldpianoday Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Why do cats always get their way

Today is "Respect Your Cat Day", so respect your cat! Why do cats always get their way? Because they're purr-suasive negotiators! #joke #cat # #short #respectyourcatday Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

GPT chatbot never feels blue on Mondays

Why did the GPT chatbot never feel blue on Mondays? Because it always started the week with a byte of humor and a gigglebit of fun! #joke #short #monday Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Flip Shots with Kieran Culkin and Method Man | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

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Eating Out

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?" "Yes" she replies. "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "That's remarkable" the husband replies. "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."     #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

How it all began

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She ... ---

BenDeLaCreme - Anti-LGBTQ Bills & Drag Defense Fund | The Daily Show

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Fortune telling

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says: "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?" "No," says the psychic: "Next semester, in her biology class." #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian." #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Annaleigh Ashford Finds Blood in Weird Places Thanks to Sweeney Todd

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Baby Wrap

Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their infants. As I was demonstrating how to wrap a newborn, a young Asian couple turned to me and said, "You mean we should wrap the baby like an egg roll?" "Yes," ... ---

Annaleigh Ashford Finds Blood in Weird Places Thanks to Sweeney Todd

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Chasten Buttigieg - "I Have Something to Tell You—For Young Adults" | The Daily Show

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Good Treatment

Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses. "Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really ... ---

Happy St Patrick's Day

"That guy was so happy that it's St Patrick's day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!" "Who was it?" "Rick O'Shea." #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

You have 10

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says: "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man: "How long have I got?" "You have 10," the doctor says sadly. "What do you mean, 10?" the man asks: "10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine, eight...." #joke #doctor Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Feeding Fur

A father was playing with his daughter when the little one said: "Dad, I read in school that animals get a new fur coat every winter." "Quiet!" retorted the father. "Your mother is in the next room!" ---

Who's the Boss

I'm at my boss's funeral, kneeling and whispering at the coffin... "Who's thinking outside the box now, Gary?" #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Sizing up the opportunity

A man walks into a bar with a monkey in tow. The man sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him a beer and watches the man's monkey run around along the bar. The monkey grabs a peanut and swallows it whole, then grabs a slice a lime and swallows that whole. Finally, the monkey jumps onto a pool table, grabs the cue ball and manages to shove it in his mouth then swallow it whole as well. The bartender asks the man, "You see what your monkey's done?" The man looks up from his beer and says, "No...what's he done now?" The bartender tells the man and the man apologizes, pays for the damage done and leaves with his monkey. The bartender doesn't see the man at the bar for a month, but the man does return with the same monkey in tow. The man asks for a beer, and the bartender obliges. The monkey proceeds to jump up on the bar, grabs a cherry, shoves it up his butt then takes it out and swallows it whole. The bartender says to the man, "You see what your monkey's done?!" The man looks up from his beer and says, "No...what's he done now?" The bartender tells him. The man replies, "Yeah, he does that now...After the cue ball he checks to make sure he can get it out before he swallows it." #joke #walksintoabar #beer Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Adam Driver on His Film 65 and Why He Moves on from Projects So Quickly

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Ghost Indian

Two Ponca men were sitting out on a back road visiting. All at once there was a tapping on the window. "Ah Hoh!" "Hey guy!" "I think there is a ghost tapping on the window!" Sure enough a wizened face with long flowing white hair was there just ... ---

Speeding Blonde

A Police car pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing at the car he was astonished to see that the blond behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the cop rolled down his ... ---

Necessary Information for the 40-and-older crowd

If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. If you must choose between two evils, pick ... ---

Hashtags: #IDeserveAnAward | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

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Do Things

"I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have sense enough to do without my persuading them." -- Harry S. Truman ---

FDA to Redefine “Healthy” Food

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For The Kids...

Q: What did the bee to the other bee in summer? A: Swarm here isn't it! Q: What is a bee's favorite classical music composer? A: Bee-thoven! Q: Who writes books for little bees? A: Bee-trix Potter! Q: Where do bees go on holiday? A: Stingapore!... ---

Don Jr. Draws Embarrassingly Small CPAC Crowd; Trump Calls DeSantis "Tiny D": A Closer Look

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How Andy Serkis Used His Cat As Inspiration For Gollum | The Jonathan Ross Show

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Elizabeth Banks Gets Stopped at Customs by Agent Guillermo - Sponsored by No7 Beauty Company

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For The Kids...

What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? I love every bone in your body! Why did the small werewolf bite the womans ankle? Because he couldn't reach any higher! What happened when the werewolf chewed a bone for an hour? When he got up he ... ---

Microsoft vs. GM

At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal." ... ---

Hasan Minhaj and Ronny Chieng Roast The S**t Out of Each Other | The Daily Show

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Medical Chart Notes

1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared. 4. The patient is ... ---

Hasan Minhaj Tries to Convince Marques Brownlee That Modern Tech Sucks | The Daily Show

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Criminal Lawyer

A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, "Is there a criminal lawyer in town?" To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yes, but we ... ---

Job Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefit's ... ---

Meanwhile… “Cocaine Bear” Is A Hit | King Charles Can’t Book A Band | NYC Headphone Thieves

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