Dave's Exclusive Look At The Making Of "Star Wars" | Letterman

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Happy Monday! Check out new jokes!

I did my first nude painting yesterday. The neighbors weren't happy but the front door looks great! Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?" Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?" I asked my wife, "Do you know a three letter word for 'eggs'?" Her: It's ova. Me: Why? Is it because I'm terrible at crosswords? If I'm reading their lips correctly … My neighbors are arguing about some creepy guy next door. I married my wife for her looks. Though not the ones she been giving me lately. My son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent. So I woke him at 2am to tell him my sock came off. English lesson… Tsunami T is silent Psychology P is silent Knife K is silent Honest H is silent Wife Husband is silent #joke #monday Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Marvin

Marvin the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're approached by an angel. "Hello," says the angel. "I'm your host, and welcome to Heaven. In a ... ---

For The Kids...

Knock Knock Who's there? Brewster! Brewster who? Brewsters can wake you up in the morning singing cock-a-doodle doo! Knock Knock Who's there? Bridget! Bridget who? London Bridget, is falling down, falling down...! Knock Knock Who's there? ---

Frog Trade

A man went fishing one day. He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free. But then he felt sorry for the ... ---

Baseball is a team effort

Baseball is a team effort. Especially the bullpen. Everyone has to pitch inning. #joke #short Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Melissa McCarthy Went To A Strip Club For "Research" | The Graham Norton Show

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Cynical Meanings

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other. Divorce: Future tense of marriage. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without ... ---

Dark Sucker pt. 2

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark... ---

Teen

There was a Roman emperor who never aged after he turned 19. His name was Constant Teen. At the age of 65 my Grandma started walking 10 kilometers a day. She’s 92 now and we have no idea where she is. #joke #short Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Jet Fuel

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me ... ---

Fidel Castro and drinking

When he was a young man Fidel Castro went to a Cuban psychic and asked if she could tell anything about him. The old woman looked at Fidel closely and declared, “You should avoid alcohol at all costs. Because when you are drunk I predict that you will make waves, overthrow governments, and stir up revolution!” She pointed at him, “So do not, under any circumstances, become inebriated!” #joke Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Damp Towel

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.' Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her. The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to... ---

Comedy Legend Mel Brooks | Carson Tonight Show

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Comedian and Actor Art Carney and His Briefcase of Costumes | The Dick Cavett Show

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Dick Van Dyke Talks Backflips, Yoga, and Practicing Magic | The Dick Cavett Show

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Family Meeting - SNL

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Reasons to allow drinking at work

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more ... ---

Conducter

A conductor was having a lot of trouble with a drummer. He constantly gave this guy personal attention and much advice, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he took a critical jab at the drummer, "When... ---

Early Rodney Dangerfield on The Mike Douglas Show (1969)

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Chris Pratt’s Prank Backfired! | Naughtiest Celebs | The Graham Norton Show

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Cass Elliot on The Mike Douglas Show, 1974

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Jackie Gleason Makes His Only Appearance | Carson Tonight Show

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Dick Van Dyke Talks Marrying On A Radio Show And Working With Julie Andrews | The Dick Cavett Show

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Fixing Broken Computers

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her to "Unplug the power cord ... ---

Elephant Robbery

A jeweller called the police station to report a robbery. "You'll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all ... ---

High Blood Pressure

Kendra had to go in and have her yearly physical done. When Dr. Sam remarked on her extraordinarily ruddy complexion, Kendra replied, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" Dr. Sam inquired. "... ---

Come On Mister

A naked man runs into a tailor's shop. The tailor says, "You can't be in here with no clothes on!" The man says, "Come on mister, cut me some slacks?" #joke #short Read more on page https://www.jokesoftheday.net

Dick Cavett Tests Slow-Motion Camera Technology | The Dick Cavett Show

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Biden & The Border: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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Employee's Lingo

I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I've used Microsoft Office. I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies. MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had... ---